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(Originally posted May 16, 2022) I was 16 when the Roe v. Wade decision was handed down in 1973. In my sheltered naivete, I was horrified to learn of it, and the act of abortion itself. Instantly, my nearly completely uninformed mind was taught by my Heavenly Father these facts: Abortion was wrong because it took the life of a human being. Abortion was wrong because it gave the illusion it was possible to escape the consequences of choices already made. I'm not here to discuss the 'buts'. It has never been wise to make policy based on exceptions. I was both moved and sobered to hear Mother Teresa speak at the National Prayer Breakfast in early 1994 on the topic of abortion. Moved, because she pleaded with mothers who didn't want their unborn babies: "Give them to me; I want them." Sobered - chilled, actually - when she presciently warned: "A society that will kill its own children will stop at nothing to get what it wants." Nearly 50 years after trying to federalize legal abortions - wrongly so according to even Ruth Bader Ginsburg - and 30 years after Mother Teresa spoke, her latter statement can be grimly tested and measured. I can't wrap my head around the compartmentalization of thinking that allows a woman to kill her unborn baby - not her body - if she doesn't want the baby, but allows the same woman to celebrate the pregnancy and possibility of a new life if she does. What a disturbing denial of reality. It would seem the spiritual war waging today isn't against God only, but against reality itself. I can't wrap my head around having grown up in a world where it was absolutely understood that an unborn baby was a life, only to now live in a world where this is hotly, and far too often rabidly, debated. It's as if the entire world is a delusional little child, determined to have its cake and eat it too, remonstrating against the hand of God and reality. It's as if there is an actual hand before its collective face. And while the world can writhe back and forth like the screaming child - "NO! NO! NO!" - when exhaustion finally causes the exhausted child to fall still and quiet, the hand of God and reality are still right there, before the face of the child - still being God - still being real. What is real? It is a baby. Killers wouldn't be convicted for double homicide for killing a pregnant mother if it weren't. It is a baby. They wouldn't be harvesting its organs - as close to birth as possible for more perfect, better-priced specimens - if it weren't. It is a baby. The most vociferous voices wouldn't be at this frenzied pitch if it weren't. It is a baby. Sixty million of them have been murdered. There is absolutely nothing safe or rare about that. For today, let's not pettifog out of this problem by talking about the other problems of neglected children, irresponsible parenting, cruelty, abuse, and abandonment. Enlightened societies need to deal with those real problems as well. For today, let's work to move this society to this first step back from the darkest abyss of the loss of law and order, which comes in a society that will stop at nothing to get what it wants. For today, let's work to make this implacable reality - reality again. It is a baby.

In 2006, my book group read a phenomenal book, 5000 Year Leap by Cleon Skousen. It lays out 28 liberty principles culled from the writings of the Founders which they felt were indispensable for the new nation. The book is almost a forensic outline of the Founders’ thinking, including excerpts of their own reading: Cicero, John Locke, William Blackstone, and others. It’s woeful to relate, eighteen years later, that even back then, I was appalled at how far from original intent the country had moved. I learned that in 1905, just 116 years after Washington’s inauguration, when the country was more closely living the liberty principles, this was the richest country in the world - not from the exploitation of other nations, but because it was producing more than half of the wealth of the world with a relatively small percentage of the world’s land and population at the time. I learned that just over a century later, we had become a debtor nation, spending at an impossibly unsustainable rate. Now, eighteen years after that first reading, I’m sick to consider that the Federal Reserve - NOT A FEDERAL INSTITUTION - prints ONE. TRILLION. Dollars every ONE. HUNDRED. Days. Hope you weren’t drinking soda when you read that. In 2011, I began to study liberty principles from other sources with a group of women. We generally studied together, but often invited fabulous speakers who became not just teachers but mentors in these principles that if followed, could turn things around in such a short time. In 2013, thanks to a poignant question from one of our teacher-mentors, one of my study friends and I began to pray to ask what the Lord would have us do with this important knowledge we were acquiring. We both felt strongly we should try to teach them to others. That’s how my new hobby was born: trying to save the country, by teaching correct principles. It’s far more stressful than cross stitch, I can tell you that. In May of 2013, Stacie and I sent over 100 emails to friends and neighbors to invite them to a cottage meeting to see a presentation introducing the liberty principles. Stacie had made a beautiful power point, and we anxiously awaited that first audience… Of one. We told our dear friend she didn’t have to stay and watch. But stay she did, and in spite of such a dubious beginning, we’ve been teaching ever since. The next group we taught - we were shocked at 30! - loved the presentation so much, they asked us if we could teach all the principles in an extended class? Excuse me, what? We taught that first group several months later, and too many more groups to count since. We’ve taught in civic groups - most notably the Salt Lake County Republican Central Committee, the United Women’s Forum, and the FIRM Foundations conference. We’ve taught in church groups - stake and ward firesides and Relief Societies. But we’ve mostly taught in homes. And when the world changed with covid, we started teaching on Zoom - people from all over the country. It’s been a most unusual journey for a couple of moms with zero credentials. But the more we’ve taught, the more we realize how dangerous it’s been for this country to be conditioned to only trust ‘experts’ to know anything. We’ve really learned that the biggest qualifier for teaching something is loving it. If a teacher loves her subject matter, she earnestly studies along with her students. We’ve learned that most people, regardless of their education, aren’t as familiar with these saving principles as will be necessary to save the country. We’ve had class members tell us they vote differently since taking this class, because their emotion doesn’t cloud an issue anymore once they understand the principle behind it. It’s particularly gratifying that often people who consider themselves both left and right of center politically can agree on how much better off we’d be if we returned to these important original principles. And by the way - ‘left’ and ‘right’ is an important misunderstood concept which we clear up in the first class. The Rip Van Winkle-like experience of the last two and a half years of my life has put our classes on hiatus. But we’re finally starting another zoom class at the end of the month. There are details on our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/libertymoms My favorite thing to talk about ever ever EVER is the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. My second favorite thing to talk about ever ever EVER is liberty. Because to fully become what Jesus Christ sent us here to become - you need freedom to choose. Not freedom to choose willy nilly whatever you want. No, no. LIBERTY is the freedom to do what is right, and good. Liberty is essential to the gospel of Jesus Christ. It’s PART of the gospel of Jesus Christ. “…where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty." 2 Corinthians 3:17

Come Follow Me (Jacob 5-7) I first learned the term ‘anti-Christ’ in 9th grade seminary. We studied the Book of Mormon that year, so we studied the lives and teachings of three different men who are referred to as anti-Christs: Sherem (Jacob 7), Nehor (Alma 1), and Korihor (Alma 30). My youth and inexperience only understood that an anti-Christ opposed Jesus Christ. What I didn’t understand until after many more readings of the Book of Mormon was this: anti-Christ teaching doesn’t just oppose the person of Jesus Christ; it opposes everything about Him: His mission, His doctrine, His role in Father’s Plan of Salvation - His very Divinity. This opposition creates a doctrine of its own - a counterfeit doctrine. What is the doctrine of Christ? By reason of the Fall, all men are unclean. All men are subject to death and sin. As no unclean thing can withstand the glory of the presence of God, the Fall created conditions which make it impossible for man to ever come back into the presence of God. Jesus Christ became the Savior and Redeemer of mankind by overcoming death through the Resurrection, and by overcoming sin by performing the atoning sacrifice and suffering for all sin in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross. All men will be judged by God after this life - according to their works and desires of their hearts. By exercising faith in Jesus Christ, repenting, being baptized, and following the Holy Ghost to increase in obedience through life, all men may stand clean, justified, and sanctified before God when they are judged - thus, enabling them to be clean to enter the presence of the Father again. Anti-Christ doctrine involves denying, dismissing, or downplaying any or all of this doctrine. In Jacob chapter 7 Sherem teaches these counterfeit doctrines: There is no need for Christ, because There is no final judgment & accountability before God; therefore There is no sin - whatever you want to do is okay; therefore There is no need for repentance Is it possible that someone who has anti-Christ beliefs isn’t simply content to not follow the teachings of Jesus, but is actually more interested in having others validate their choice - or worse - have their own followers? Because wow. If that’s true, that’s priestcraft at its finest. The scriptures describe this teaching as “flattering words” (Jacob 7:2, 4), and “pleasing to the carnal mind” (Alma 30:53). And that is indeed flattering doctrine. It’s the siren song of the path of least resistance. Doctrine which teaches you’re enough the way you are, that you don’t answer to anyone for your behavior, that there is no need to examine yourself or consider change or growth - that’s absolutely going to appeal to the carnal mind. The earthy, earthly, temporal, temporary mind. But not the spiritual mind. And as Paul taught: “For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6) This is the doctrine of secular humanism, which teaches the highest moral authority in your life is your Self. This is the way to make God in YOUR image. An interesting thought exercise would be to read all three anti-Christ manifestos in the Book of Mormon, and then read the modern-day Humanist Manifesto, written and signed in 1933 (https://huumanists.org/publications/journal/humanist-manifesto). This unhappy little reading assignment powerfully underscores that Satan can create absolutely nothing; he’s only capable of imitating through perversion. And because of this, there is truly nothing new under the sun when it comes to how he deceives humanity. Jacob’s defense against a popular demagogue was his sure knowledge of the doctrine of Christ. This came from the timeless, unassailable sources of scripture, words of prophets, and the direct teaching of God through the gift and power of the Holy Ghost - the testator of the words from scriptures and prophets. That’s our defense, too. Counterfeit experts spend very little time studying counterfeit currency. Their expertise comes from poring over real currency. With real as their chief focus, they can easily spot the counterfeit. The Book of Mormon includes three little pop quizzes - three chapters with the counterfeit doctrines - in a sea of the real doctrine of Jesus Christ. If we’ve been paying attention, the rest of the book is full of the real. If we do our homework, we should be able to spot the counterfeits - whether they were written thousands of years ago, a century ago, or in a social media post from last week. Jacob puts it this way: “…for the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested unto us plainly, for the salvation of our souls. But behold, we are not witnesses alone in these things; for God also spake them unto prophets of old.” (Jacob 4:13, emphasis added)

One of the most memorable movies of my childhood is Shenandoah - filmed in 1965 and starring Jimmy Stewart. The thing that made it memorable as a child was the way it made me feel. I remember observing in wonder as both my parents wept at the ending. It blessedly gave me and my younger brothers permission to feel what we were feeling and express it. There the five of us sat, weeping at the restoration of a beloved, given-up-for-lost family member, knowing what it means for a family to be together. As an adult, this film has become a type of what it means to live in this world, hoping to be unaffected by the ugliness and brutality of it, and learning the lengths to which I am trying to be capable of going to fight that ugliness and brutality. In myself. I’m learning I can only fight the ugliness and brutality in myself, as I have zero control over the ugliness and brutality at large. Jimmy Stewart plays the part of Charlie Anderson, patriarch of a Virginia farm family three years into the Civil War. Anderson doesn’t believe in slavery and doesn’t own any, so he has no intention of becoming involved in the war, even though it comes quite close to his land. He, his six boys and one daughter, work the land and try to stay out of the fray. Until his youngest son, known only as Boy because his beloved mother died in childbirth before naming him, makes the momentous mistake of putting on a Confederate cap he finds floating in the stream near his home. Though only 16, he is captured as a Confederate soldier by Union soldiers, and the rest of the film becomes the journey of Charlie Anderson’s family trying to find their son and brother. In a world where so very much goes wrong, the film depicts so very much going wrong. By the time Charlie Anderson comes home, he has lost three more beloved family members in his search for Boy, and still comes home without him. There’s an unapologetic spoiler here to make the point of my post - so reader beware. In all the confusion of the journey and return home, Charlie has lost track of the fact that today is Sunday, and while he was never an enthusiastic church-goer, he went faithfully out of a promise made to his wife that he would take their children to church. Charlie’s not even sure He likes God very much at this point, or even if he believes there is a God, after this devastation has befallen his family. But a promise is a promise, so off to church goes the grief-stricken family. The last scene of the movie, set in the church during the opening hymn of the service, shows Boy staggering into the church with a crutch - dirty, bloody, having been shot in his attempt to escape and get home. Every person in the church recognizes Boy’s return for the miracle it is, and the singing becomes even more true praise, with the help of the invisible orchestra soundtrack joining the organ. So here’s the thing. Boy’s one goal was to get home, because he knew that’s where his family was going to be. And once he got home and realized it was Sunday? He got to church, because he knew that’s where his family was going to be. Besides the main theme of restoration and homecoming, the thing I love about this movie is the powerful message of being where you say you’ll be, and doing what you say you’ll do. Charlie Anderson promised his beloved wife he would take their children to church. Despite the heart-wrenching emotion of grief, loss, and doubting the little faith he had left, Charlie took his children to church. The longer I live, the more profound covenant making becomes to me. The hardest part of keeping covenants for me is - frankly - when I’m tired, or hungry, or overwhelmed, or afraid, or someone’s not been their best self with me. Maybe because they’re tired, or hungry, or overwhelmed, or afraid. I think that's the point of the covenant. It's to strengthen us when our emotions want to take us someplace else. Particularly when the ugliness and brutality threaten to get the best of us. C.S. Lewis wrote this about the promise of a marriage covenant, but he makes my point better than I can: "The promise, made when I am in love and because I am in love, to be true to the beloved as long as I live, commits me to being true, even if I cease to be in love. A promise must be about things that I can do, about actions: no one can promise to go on feeling in a certain way. He might as well promise to never have a headache or always to feel hungry." (Mere Christianity, emphasis added) If my children were to be taken as prisoners of war in all this ugliness and brutality, I need them to know two things: I will spare no effort to find them and bring them home, And if I fail, I need to be where they know they can find me. And because of the ugliness and brutality of mortality, it won’t just be my kids bloody and injured when we’re reunited. It’ll be me too. Then Jesus can fix it all. Clean it all. Wipe all the tears, and restore all that was lost. That’s the place where Jesus WILL fix it all. That’s why I love Shenandoah.

(Originally published in Millennial Instructor, Volume 3, 2018) The Savior gave His disciples the parable of the ten virgins at the end of His mortal ministry. Joseph Smith received valuable added revelation concerning its meaning in the early days of the restored church. Since then, it has been widely – and wildly – interpreted by writers, musicians, and artists alike. But modern prophets help us narrow our focus and not look beyond the mark: To briefly retell the original parable: Ten virgins were invited to a wedding feast by a bridegroom – who symbolizes the Savior. There was a delay, and the women had to wait for the bridegroom longer than was the custom. As the night wore on, the lamps continued to burn, and the oil ran low. Five of the virgins were wise, and came prepared with extra oil; five had not. They asked the five with extra oil if they would share their oil, but the five wise virgins didn’t have enough for themselves and the others. As the five unprepared women left to purchase more oil, the bridegroom came, the five wise virgins joined the wedding procession and went into the feast, and the five foolish virgins missed the feast.  (Matthew 25:1-13) When I was a teenager, I had a difficult time with this parable. Why didn’t those five prepared virgins share with their friends? I’m certain part of that feeling was because I identified more with those who hadn’t planned ahead, because I have felt the sting of being unprepared far too many times in my life. I imagined myself, on this rare occasion, somehow, as one of the five prepared virgins, perhaps because I knew how important it was. I imagined looking into the faces of friends, stricken, because they were unprepared – like I usually was. How could I deny them? How could I tell them no, when I knew exactly how they felt? Many years later, I read something Spencer W. Kimball wrote: “The foolish asked the others to share their oil, but spiritual preparedness cannot be shared in an instant….This was not selfishness or unkindness. The kind of oil that is needed to illuminate the way and light up the darkness is not shareable. How can one share obedience to the principle of tithing; a mind at peace from righteous living; an accumulation of knowledge? How can one share faith or testimony? How can one share attitudes or chastity, or the experience of a mission? How can one share temple privileges? Each must obtain that kind of oil for himself.”  (Faith Precedes the Miracle, pp. 255-256) Suddenly, the parable made better sense. Now, in my mind, I could imagine traveling in a time machine, away from that young version of myself, to a much older version of myself – no doubt younger than I am today! I imagined who I would have become over a lifetime of obedience to the commandments: tithing, sacrament meeting attendance, daily scripture reading, and serving others daily. The Young Me had become a different person, over time, by each of these seemingly small acts. Then, I could picture Heavenly Father – the perfect mathematician – knowing the trajectory that such a life creates. A trajectory is the path an object travels when it’s thrown or launched. Mathematicians can predict precisely where something will land if they understand the principles behind the trajectory. Listen to what the scriptures teach us about the trajectory God can predict precisely if we obey - precisely: “Yea, we see that whosever will may lay hold upon the word of God, which is quick and powerful, which shall divide asunder all the cunning and the snares and the wiles of the devil, and lead the man of Christ in a straight and narrow course across that everlasting gulf of misery which is prepared to engulf the wicked – “And land their souls, yea, their immortal souls at the right hand of God in the kingdom of heaven, to sit down with Abraham, and Isaac, and with Jacob, and with all our holy fathers, to go no more out.” (Helaman 3:29-30, emphasis added) “And land their souls…” – that’s a trajectory! Heavenly Father knows where exact obedience will land us, where casual obedience will land us, and where disobedience will land us. That’s why he pleads with us to obey! In my mind, I have come to picture another version of myself in another time machine, and meeting a different Future Me – one who didn’t spend a lifetime paying tithing, attending sacrament meeting regularly, reading scriptures daily, or serving others. That version of me is a completely different person than the Future Me who obeyed. Seeing those two versions of myself side by side, in my imagination, has fueled greater, higher, consecrated obedience as I’ve tried to become the obedient Future Me. Now, back to the ten virgins. Imagine the five wise virgins got in the time machine of obedience. Every act of obedience put a drop of oil into their lamps. And imagine the five foolish virgins got in the time machine of casual obedience. Hence, there was no extra oil at the darkest time of the night, when the bridegroom finally arrived. President Kimball made this important point: “I believe that the Ten Virgins represent the people of the Church of Jesus Christ and not the rank and file of the world. All of the virgins, wise and foolish, had accepted the invitation to the wedding supper; they had knowledge of the program and had been warned of the important day to come. They were not the gentiles or the heathens or the pagans, nor were they necessarily corrupt and reprobate, but they were knowing people who were foolishly unprepared for the vital happenings that were to affect their eternal lives.” (Faith Precedes the Miracle, pp. 253-254) It’s important to know the five foolish virgins were not wicked. Foolishness is not wickedness. The wise virgins had learned the eternal principle that preparation is a deliberate lifestyle, and had invested wisely in building such a lifestyle. The foolish virgins, while possibly occasionally obedient, had not done so, consistently, over time. And when it mattered most, that lack of preparation was a sobering lack. Joseph Smith’s added revelation in the Doctrine and Covenants can help us intentionally build a lifestyle of preparation and daily adding oil of exact obedience to our lamps: “And at that day, when I shall come in my glory, shall the parable be fulfilled which I spake concerning the ten virgins. “For they that are wise and have received the truth, and have taken the Holy Spirit for their guide, and have not been deceived – verily I say unto you, they shall not be hewn down and cast into the fire, but shall abide the day.” (D&C 45:56-57, emphasis added) Note the four qualities of the wise virgins mentioned in D&C 45: 1.   They were wise 2.   They had received the truth 3.   They had taken the Holy Spirit for their guide 4.   They had not been deceived These are important additional insights. The true wisdom of being obedient is the added power it gives us to have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. The constant companionship of the Holy Ghost gives us added power to not be deceived by the philosophies of men – no matter how pleasing or reasonable they may sound, or how prevalent or popular they may be. The constant companionship of the Holy Ghost is the true prize of all that stored oil - when the darkness surrounds us as we wait for the return of the Bridegroom. If there’s anyone reading this like Past Me - and all too often, Present Me, who doesn’t plan ahead as I should - I’ve got good news for you. There’s another parable about laborers who came late in the day to work in a vineyard, and were paid the same wages as those who came early in the day. (Matthew 20:1-16) This is a story that teaches repentance. Our generous Heavenly Father has a beautiful catch-up plan for those who truly want to make up for lost time. Repentance puts oil into an empty lamp; it puts you back in the right time machine, no matter when you climb in, and corrects your trajectory, so you still land in the right place – back home in Heavenly Father’s presence. Our covenants mean we’ve been invited to the wedding feast. The Bridegroom will return. He has promised; and He always keeps His promises. “Wherefore, be faithful, praying always, having your lamps trimmed and burning, and oil with you, that you may be ready at the coming of the Bridegroom - “ “For behold, verily, verily, I say unto you, that I come quickly….” (D&C 33:17-18) How soon will it be time to go in?

(Originally posted January 24, 2018) Our book group read an incredible book called Witness written by Whittaker Chambers. Chambers defected from the Communist underground in the U.S. in the 1930's - which had already heavily infiltrated the U.S. government. In 1948 and 1949, he testified in a grand jury and two lawsuits against Algier Hiss, one of the underground Communists who had a high position in the U.S. State Department. I can't recommend this book highly enough, though it is a project and a half, and there is much of the machinations of the Communist "apparatus," as Chambers calls it, that are very difficult to wade through. It's like thinking you need to memorize an organizational flow chart of a secret combination for some quiz, so remember - there's no quiz! Chambers is unapologetic and bold in his condemnation of communism, and its opposition to the free will granted to men by God. His writing is unbelievably articulate and poignant. Here is a short excerpt about his legal team, the "Davids" set up to go against the "Goliath" of the Communist Party, which, at that time, absolutely included huge sectors of the U.S. government. Speaking of those who were on his side, believed him, and defended him, he writes: "The inclusive fact about them is that, in contrast to the pro-Hiss rally, most of them, regardless of what they had made of themselves, came from the wrong side of the railroad tracks. I use the expression as the highest measure of praise, as Lincoln noted that God must love the common people; he made so many of them. For in America, most of us begin on the wrong side of the railroad tracks. The meaning of America, what made it the wonder of history and the hope of mankind, was that we were free not to stay on the wrong side of the railroad tracks. If within us there was something that empowered us to grow, we were free to grow and go where we could. Only, we were not free ever to forget, ever to despise our origins. They were our roots. They made us a nation." I'm profoundly grateful I took the time to read this one. It joins the ranks of 4 other important biographies/autobiographies that have been watershed, defining books in my education on liberty. [Added March 21, 2024] I often speak and write about the handful of autobiographies/biographies which have been seminal in my understanding of the world and human nature. When I say that, I mean primarily that they have been seminal in my understanding of humans' struggle for freedom versus dominion. This memoir was important because it clearly showed how public figures are packaged for popularity or notoriety. Algier Hiss reeked of success, style, and respectability, and the press lauded him and bleated his innocence because of it. On the other hand, Chambers was an unfashionable, almost dumpy, frumpy-looking character. Again, the press capitalized on his appearance to help them paint him as an unsavory, untrustworthy character. This book was one of the first places I saw clearly the tactics of those who subvert freedom by turning themselves into victims, and then their victims into bullies. Because portions of the actual grand jury transcripts are included in this book, this was the first place I was able to analyze the non-answer stonewalling and obfuscating we routinely see in public hearings today. To see the exact same patterns in hearing after hearing have led me to the inescapable conclusion that these patterns and tactics are taught, coached, and rehearsed. But the most beautiful takeaway from this book which is so full of what could feel like hopelessness - some, actually expressed by Chambers himself - is his bold, brilliant, and beautiful witness of what he did, why he did it, and for whom he did it. Chambers wanted to leave his personal witness of the existence of God, and the help and support he received from his God when he made the seemingly impossible decision to stand up, against all odds, and do what was right.

(Original post April 30, 2022) I was the burnt waffle. Erma Bombeck wrote that it’s too bad we can’t do children the way we do a batch of waffles - throw out the first burnt or doughy ones, until we get the hang of the thing. My parents were marvelous parents. But growing up the eldest and only girl in a coach’s home had its challenges. The overriding message that burnt my waffle was I was never going to be good enough. Because let’s face it - even if I had been the all-star forward, there’s always room for improvement, right? Little did I know I was writing a narrative from that angle, and pretty much ignoring every other angle. Like the angle where these people were delighted with the human being they were raising, that they were grateful she was so instinctively obedient, setting an example for younger brothers that we just do what we’re told, because we’re supposed to. Or the angle where they were relieved I included my brothers in neighborhood groups, and was the catalyst for all things interesting and wholesome going on in the neighborhood on long summer days. Or the angle where they could mostly laugh because of my oblivion to cause and effect, which got me into scrapes that could rival Wally and the Beav. So - ignoring all these lovely angles where there was so much humor and affection and grace, somehow, burnt waffle that I was, I only focused on the angle where there was always room for improvement, and thought my parents would never find me - enough. Being so narrow and tight, this drove my relationship with my parents into very narrow and tight places as I became an adult. I worked - and continue to - work on rewriting that early narrative - based as much on the narrow angle I had chosen as it was based on imperfect parenting and burnt waffles. Then I nearly died. A few days before Christmas, my younger brother brought me a gift - a book, a la Shutterfly - which he had made for me. It was filled with pictures of our childhood, accompanying a tender, inspired poem he had written about the good example I had always been to him. I lay there in my hospital bed, barely able to move, and watched my brother fight back tears as he read what it had meant to grow up with me in this idyllic, privileged childhood.  He finished, and as we both wiped tears away, he commented that when he read it to our nearly blind mother, as she dimly viewed the book, she could tell him the circumstances behind each photo in stunning detail. My mother could remember each photo because she’d been compiling her own private photo album of our entire childhood in her heart and mind. She treasured being our mother, as our father treasured being our father. In all our messiness as a family, we had loved each other, and been happy together. As the days stretched into weeks of recovery, I read that book and looked at those memories over and over again. One day, it hit me quite forcibly: what the woke world was calling my ‘white privilege’ was an intentional lie to destroy the biggest privilege I had grown up with - the privilege of having parents who loved me. There are families of all colors, all over the world, with far less than even a modest school teacher in Murray, Utah in the 1960’s. Families who are happy because there is a mother and father who made the children there. While society continues to try to engineer a better system of raising humans, no better system exists than to have two committed humans - one with an X chromosome, and one with a Y chromosome -  making their own humans and choosing to make sacrifices to keep them alive, safe, happy, and teach them to be virtuous. Not everyone has this greatest of all human privileges, and there’s the rub for the woke crowd. How do you redistribute such a thing?  Well, you can’t. So, like petty little crabs in a shallow bucket, preventing each other’s easy escape, society wants to make sure that if everyone can’t have the privilege of a natural family, no one can. As I read my brother’s tender words about the childhood I had largely overlooked in all my burnt wafflehood, I realized all I had missed, writing that narrow narrative from the limited lens of my childhood. It was the greatest privilege to be raised by a mother and father who loved not just me and my brothers, but each other. It was a privilege to have a mother and father who went about trying again every single day, even after the messiest days. Like lab experiments that went bad and where things blew up, there were horrific days of bad practice. But the next day, there they still were, devotedly saying something very important in simply being there: “I’m not going anywhere.” I’m fully aware that there are far too many humans who didn’t get this privilege. But the family is vital to society’s survival and its ability to thrive.  It is no reason to throw this crucial baby out with the bath water of the failed attempts. God doesn’t send any perfect humans except the One He sent to clean up all the messes, fix all the broken things, heal all the sickened hearts and minds. So it would seem that maybe we’re all burnt waffles, and that’s kind of the point. Whoever seeks a Physician when there’s no need to be healed? One greater privilege still: my parents taught me “to what source [I] may look for a remission of [my] sins.” (2 Nephi 25:26). They had enough faith that when I noticed my burnt nature, I would know where to look for relief and healing. I praise God that thanks to their example, I did. Because if your story needs editing from the right angles, you can’t do better than coaching from the Author and Finisher of your faith.

It’s great to get a day off work for any reason, so hey, I’ll take it. But I’m not a huge fan of calling today President’s Day because it seems like one of the first steps towards participation trophy mentality that is damning the popular culture. It’s never been officially established as President’s Day, it just morphed into being called that because someone must have decided it was gauche to celebrate two great presidents’ birthdays 10 days apart. To me, this will always be the celebration of George Washington’s birthday - actually February 22. It became a holiday in 1869, and he so truly deserves a day to be remembered and honored. The reason there is such a thing as American exceptionalism is because of the exceptionalism of this man. I’ve visited Washington’s home at Mount Vernon on three different occasions. Each time I’ve been there, I’ve felt such gratitude for such a man as George Washington. There is peace there in a perfect marriage of form and function. The last time I was there, I went through the tour of the home, sat on the rocking chair lined porch which overlooks the Potomac, and wandered the grounds. As I walked, I found myself thinking, “No wonder Washington didn’t want to be the king - he was already a king right here!” As we come to this earth to practice dominion over ourselves, I’ve learned to appreciate those who take that stewardship seriously, watching the stewardship expand with good use, as the parable of the talents teaches (see Matthew 25). There’s something exceptional about those extraordinary humans who, talent, intellect and leadership notwithstanding, prefer their empires small. It was exceptional that Washington refused to become king at the end of the Revolutionary War. Upon learning of his resignation as commander of the Continental Army and refusing a kingship, King George III remarked he was “the greatest man in the world.” At the time? Absolutely. And today? Which of our power-hungry politicians would do such a thing? It was exceptional that Washington refused to become king after the Constitutional Convention, and that after being resoundingly nominated and elected the first president, shocked the world by stepping away after two terms of office - subtly suggesting that that was enough time for ANY federal office holder to serve. Now, when I hear today referred to as a day to honor all the presidents who have served, I feel sad. Of course it’s appropriate to be glad for their service, but it’s done our country a great disservice to pretend that all served equally well by clumping that honor into one day, and completely diluting the original meaning of the holiday in the process - that of honoring one of the greatest men who has ever lived, and one who set a precedence worth following, not abandoning. Excellence in character and leadership shouldn’t be diminished because we’ll make any who served in a lesser way feel bad. Thomas Jefferson used to call good men rising in society a “natural aristocracy” - it was a man’s talent, intelligence, and integrity which caused him to rise to natural leadership. Why? Because excellence has always been, and always should be something to emulate. I think I’ll enjoy the day off today, but celebrate and honor one of my true heroes on February 22. It’s my own private little effort to not give each and every president a participation trophy today. I want to celebrate the one that started the whole thing with his singular approach to public service, and I pray more honorable men step up to do the same kind of work that still needs to be done.

Come Follow Me (2 Nephi 2) I’m forever indebted to David A. Bednar for expounding the importance of being agents to act rather than simply being acted upon.  Pondering this concept as explained by Lehi in 2 Nephi 2 has helped me solidify what it means to be a true disciple and take upon myself the name of Jesus Christ. When a person of authority cannot be somewhere within the purview of his authority, he sends an agent. That agent goes into any scenario he is assigned in the name of his master. He does what his master would do had he come himself - not only out of loyalty and love, but so as to not sully his name and reputation. When we’re baptized, we become agents of Jesus Christ. We become His agents in the circles of influence in our lives, since Jesus can’t be literally in the individual lives of all of us. But He can be in the individual lives of all of us if we take seriously the covenant we make of taking upon us His name and becoming His agents, doing what He would do if He were there. Agents… act. In 2 Nephi 2:14 & 16, Lehi teaches: “…for there is a God, and he hath created all things, both the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are, both things to act and things to be acted upon. “Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself. wherefore, man could not act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other.” In my mind, I always thought of this as an either/or proposition. God created us to act and intentionally exercise the agency which He gave us at infinite cost. Many other of his creations would be acted upon - things without sentient will, like rocks or trees. Until recently, I’d always assumed this either/or scenario could also be applied to humans who were more fully proactive versus humans who were more passive. I imagined that in teaching us this principle, God expected us to be more active and less passive - not allowing things to simply happen to us the way things happened to rocks or trees. But then I started noticing how many times the Book of Mormon talks about people departing from sensible behavior because they got “stirred up.” Individuals and communities alike behaved in horrible ways because of being stirred up by someone else. Far too often, the stirring up was done completely by design. Suddenly, I saw a third side to a scenario I’d always imagined as two sides of a coin: act, or be acted upon.  But… what if another way to be acted upon is to let emotion play far too great a role in your decision making?  What if your choices were altered in unrighteous ways because your thinking was clouded by emotion? My whole life, I’ve heard people talk about certain people’s behaviors being the cause of their own bad behavior. Someone “made” them do it. But isn’t that the purpose of personal practice? To weed out those tendencies so we are more fully agents to act, and not be acted upon? This was a different side to being acted upon I had never considered before. Lehi teaches that we’re enticed by our divine natures through the element of our spirits, and by our carnal natures through the element of our bodies. All this - so we can learn to choose. Choose light over darkness. Kindness over cruelty. Charity over enmity. Generosity over stinginess. Magnanimity over pettiness.  Law over chaos. Liberty over bondage. Creation over destruction. God - and all that He is - over all else. If those are the choices we really want to make, don’t we want to make them with the clearest head possible - using fixed principles to navigate over the fickleness of our emotions? Being stirred up and only acting on emotions is just as much being acted upon as remaining a rock-like clump of passivity. If we don’t practice making the things we value truly matter most, then we will never be true agents who act. We will never do more than react - making us vulnerable to demagogues and propagandists. The stirrer-uppers. If you’re really going to be an agent, don’t you want to make up your own mind and make your own choice really be… your choice?

Come Follow Me - 2 Nephi 1-2 I love 2 Nephi with all my little girl heart.  I think of it as headwaters in the Book of Mormon; the purest doctrine flows from this counsel to Jacob, Lehi’s son born in the wilderness. One verse is packed with gems, and in that verse, there’s one word that was like a Rosetta Stone for a better understanding of who - and how - God… IS. “And because of the intercession for all, all men come unto God; wherefore, they stand in the presence of him, to be judged of him according to the truth and holiness which is in him. Wherefore, the ends of the law which the Holy One hath given, unto the inflicting of the punishment which is affixed, which punishmentthat is affixed is in opposition to that of the happinesswhich is affixed, to answer the ends of the atonement—“ (2 Nephi 2:10) The Rosetta Stone word in that verse is affixed. The day I played with that word, I swear:  if I’d been a cartoon character, a light bulb bubble would have appeared over my head. This was about the time I had started to study natural law and divine law. I was learning that the natural laws of the universe are fixed and cannot be altered. The likes of gravity, velocity, and entropy are predictable and unchanging in their ever-present reality. What I was also learning was that divine law - the laws of the universe that govern human behavior - are just as fixed and unchanging. Things like chastity, generosity, kindness, and charity are just as unfailing in their attendant consequences. And then I saw it. The word that provided scriptural proof of the seedling of such an idea: affixed. Both punishment and happiness are affixed to our behavior. So - God doesn’t simply mete out blessings or punishment out of anger or spite, but because He must. So - you know when you buy a Toyota, suddenly all you seem to see everywhere are Toyotas? Suddenly, after having started to connect this doctrinal dot - all I saw was this principle. Everywhere. Neal A. Maxwell said it this way: "It is important to understand that obedience is not simply a requirement of a capricious God who wants us to jump hurdles for the entertainment of a royal court. It is really the pleading of a loving Father for you and me to discover, as quickly as we can, that there are key concepts and principles that will bring happiness in a planned but otherwise cold universe." - A Time to Choose, pp. 13-14 A “planned but otherwise cold universe” suggests that Father is not passing out harsh judgments willy-nilly, but rather, that His commandments are warnings about consequences which even He cannot avoid. "There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated - "And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated." - Doctrine & Covenants 130:20-21 Affixed. Natural law teaches us that if we plant an apple seed, we’ll eventually get an apple tree. Which is absolutely wonderful… Unless you wanted oranges. So it is with the divine laws for human behavior. The more I’ve studied natural law, the more I’ve come to know God - nature's God - as a Father of natural consequences.  Few are the times He actively punishes His children for disobedience, and it's generally for widespread disobedience - think: flood. More often, He warns about natural consequences attached to our choices, and allows us to feel the realities of those choices with those consequences. The moral equivalence of gravity, velocity, or entropy looks something like this: Stop worshiping God... and you will eventually worship stuff and stop feeling a duty to anything higher than your own needs, pleasures, and whims. Stop worshiping God...and you will no longer feel a brotherhood with your fellow man, or feel a need to treat others as you would be treated. Stop treating others as you would be treated...and you eventually see them not as brothers, but as objects - either in your way, or as tools  to help you further your own desires. The Old Testament prophets warned that people who turned away from God would be part of nations which would suffer war, famine, and pestilence. Those three consequences are nearly always mentioned in that order. If God is, in fact, a natural consequence Father - is it possible that those three scourges on humanity are not consequences imposed on us by an angry Parent, but rather, the natural consequences of nations who have become completely self-absorbed and self-centered? Selfishness always leads to contention because of seeing others as in your way.  Contention left unchecked and turned chronic will always lead to war. War is the largest drain of a people's resources and always leads to massive hunger. Hungry people get sick.  War...famine...pestilence.  What if God doesn't "zap" us for disobedience at all, but rather...that we "zap" ourselves with the very real, affixed consequences of our choices? If that is true, then one of our reasons for being on this earth must be to learn about the "irrevocable decrees" of heaven - the fixed principles and their attending blessings...or punishments. Which leads to the phrase in verse 10 which states we will be judged by God “according to the truth and holiness which is in Him.” If God’s plan works in us, we will learn this lesson of fixed consequences. We will also learn to not simply recognize the goodness and truth and holiness of God - but we will also learn to prefer it. Want it. Choose it above all else, because we love it. We will be judged by the truth and holiness God possesses, and here’s the very best part: because He knew we were 100% incapable of this level of truth and holiness on our own, He sent His perfectly obedient Son - the Lamb without spot - to qualify for all of us. If we prefer it - choose it - and love it. Lehi’s teaching of this generous plan is exquisite. It isn’t taught in any other book of scripture with such stark clarity and plainness. It is precious. It is delicious. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg in this chapter.

[Originally published December 8, 2019] The Salt Lake Temple is about to close for 4 years. I didn’t think I felt as deeply about the loss of this temple for a time until the last few times I’ve gone this year. There is a spot right inside the actual temple - a grand hallway outside the first ordinance room that I will never forget. It’s maybe what the foyer into the personal Holy of Holies in my heart looks like. There are gorgeous newel posts and a bannister on the stairway at the far end, and a stunning stained glass window on the landing. There are exquisite chandeliers and paintings, beautiful woodwork and ornate trim. I remember the first time I stood there - on December 8, 1979 - the day I received my endowment. My naive, inexperienced 23-year-old heart wanted to burst that I was finally entering the House of the Lord, and that particular spot has taken my breath away every time since that day. I’ve realized as I’ve attended this year that it’s taken this 40 years of wilderness to feel like I even begin to understand better what it really means to be prepared to “enter in.” Every time I have ever gone to the Salt Lake Temple, that vantage point still makes my heart leap - I am entering the House of the Lord! I can’t do it justice to try to explain it, but you know I’ll try. There’s absolute joy and anticipation in it - and gratitude - but there’s another thing. As a kid and beyond, I’ve had dreams of being in various temples that I didn’t recognize at all. Because my dream temples have been similar to the temples I’ve actually attended, and because the dreams have recurred over many, many years, I’ve wondered if I’m remembering something from before this life. Every time I have one of these dreams, I get excited (in my dream), and start to pay close attention, hoping to remember details. What I felt in the dreams with the temples-that-aren’t-temples-of-this-earth was remembering. I truly believe that part of what took my breath away on December 8, 1979 was recognition and remembering. Part of the 40 years of wilderness experience since that day has included: - Fear and nervousness of the unexpected in the temple - Fear and nervousness of forgetting - Reluctance to take the time to go to the Temple regularly - Chagrin at recognizing how easy it’s been for the destroyer to talk me out of going to the temple - Understanding that in order to make a deeper habit of attending the temple, perhaps I didn’t even dare write my plans on my calendar for his evil minions to see - Growing appreciation for the simple beauty of the way God’s plan for His children is taught in the temple - Deeper gratitude for being taught directly by my Creator, Father, and God, through the power of the Holy Ghost, in His holy temple. Several years ago, after a particularly rough patch of wilderness, things started to open up for me, and I couldn’t stop thanking Father for how He had wrought a mighty change in me. One night, as I was thanking him - again - for this great miracle, I felt, rather than heard these words: “I gave you as much as I could, for as seldom as you’re in the temple.” Please hear this: there wasn’t a hint of rebuke in this simple, loving statement of fact. It was at that point I started making a more sincere and diligent effort to be in the temple more often. This has taught me that even in this, there is a natural law, with natural consequences attached. No wonder apostles and prophets have referred to the temple as the Lord’s “university.” More glorious than any other happy consequence of being in the temple more often is how I’m able to feel more and more the craving to be there. As more storms have come in the wilderness, it’s become ever more instinctive to run home - to weep and mourn for my trials and earth stains, to feel comfort from heavenly Parents, to be strengthened to go back out into the wilderness, with power to go in the name of the Savior and do His work. The sure provisions of my God attend me all my days; Oh, may Thy house be my abode and all my work be praise; There would I find a settled rest, while others go and come; No more a stranger nor a guest, but like a child at home. (Isaac Watts, My Shepherd Will Supply My Need) In that one particular spot in the Salt Lake Temple, I will forever hear these words. Whenever I hear that beautiful hymn, in my mind, I’m in that sacred, exquisite spot just inside the Salt Lake Temple - my temple - the temple where Dale’s and my kingdom began - where the eternal organism of our family was born, one week later. Going to the temple is to give us the taste - the reminder - of home, and to give us the desire to be forever at home - in our original home. The two most important invitations: come - and remember.

[Originally published October29, 2019] I had the privilege of speaking at the Independence Day sunrise service in our city in 2019. I’m grateful for divine inspiration in the preparation, and I ended up using some of the material for a panel I participated in at the United Nations’ 68th Conference on a Civil Society, held in Salt Lake City in August 2019. In 1776, John Adams wrote to his wife about the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Of this day, he said: “I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated, by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary Festival. It ought to be commemorated, as the Day of Deliverance by solemn Acts of Devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more.” On a day like today, it may seem like niggling to differentiate between freedom and liberty, but allow me to make my case. First - I want you to think of any two-year-olds in your life. It seems their entire raison d’être can be summed up in three words: “I DO IT!” A two-year-old, fairly new to this planet, seems driven from a source deep within them to DO IT. THEMSELVES. This can be extremely vexing to the adults in the two-year-old’s life, in direct correlation to how big a control freak the adult is. At this level, self-governance is just plain messy. Pause here for imagined adventures with dressing, bathing, fixing breakfast... As I considered the founding of our country, it struck me that in 1776, when the Declaration of Independence was signed and presented to England, a toddler nation stepped out upon the world stage filled with centuries-old players, and defiantly announced, “WE DO IT!” Alexander Hamilton captures the essence of the idea of the American experiment in the opening Federalist: “It has been frequently remarked that it seems to have been reserved to the people of this country, by their conduct and example, to decide the important question, whether societies of men are really capable or not of establishing good government from reflection and choice, or whether they are forever destined to depend for their political constitutions on accident and force” (Federalist Papers, No. 1). The Declaration of Independence boldly asserted that nations could indeed be peopled with men and women who were capable of governing themselves - who intentionally chose what kind of government they would have, and not have that government thrust upon them. It further asserted that human rights come from our Creator - are a part of us - and that because we all have them, we are all equal before our Creator - and among each other. It audaciously suggested that governments only exist by consent of those being governed, that they are to mostly leave people alone to govern themselves, and that they are subject to being changed or removed if they violate those basic human rights. In fact - the Declaration put forth the radical idea that the only role governments have is to protect those rights. From the Declaration: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” PARENTHESES: What about those who don’t believe in a Creator? Believers are important in a society - because of their belief that the source of human rights is a Creator - and historically - tyranny has only flourished in godless societies. That is not to say that everyone in a society must be a believer; but a nation must be able to have both believers and non-believers alike, equally able to weigh in with their world views as public policy is made. I repeat: tyranny doesn’t flourish when there aren’t enough believers - tyranny flourishes when belief is prohibited. Which leads us to the difference between liberty and freedom. The two words have nearly become synonymous, and have come to mean doing whatever you want, whenever you want. Because people largely move through their days unhindered, they imagine they’re free - but is that liberty? What is the real difference between freedom and liberty? Liberty is freedom to do good, to act with justice and compassion, and to live according to the most basic natural law of the golden rule: doing to others as you would have them do unto you. Liberty is freedom from restraint - where good and noble acts towards our fellow man are not prohibited by law. Liberty is freedom of self-determination - freedom to develop talents - to become educated. And a true education includes timeless, unchanging principles, which can be tested and measured for their validity throughout the ages. Without this, the educated are ill equipped to preserve their liberty. Liberty is freedom to accumulate property - and the freedom of being a good steward of that property. It is choosing freely to share the abundance of what your self-reliance has built - and choosing freely to use largesse to help and serve your neighborhood and community - in the ways your conscience mandates, not in the way the state mandates. Liberty is recognizing that personal responsibility is inherent in human rights - because liberty isn’t just about rights. Human rights are inextricably linked to responsibilities. Laws don’t exist to restrain or abolish our rights; they exist to protect them. In the second verse of “America, The Beautiful,” we sing: “America, America, God mend thine every flaw, Confirm thy soul in self-control, thy liberty in law.” I remember walking in this beautiful park a few years ago on the morning of July 5. I couldn’t get over the litter - everywhere. I felt so sad to think we were so far removed from self-government - collectively - that we largely left something that was a personal responsibility to be someone else’s problem. All of us long to live in a society without litter - but that only happens because people pick up after themselves. And they pick up after themselves because they prefer living in a place with no litter. A very wrong idea about the role of government has infected our modern society. It is that government should do much of what used to be done by individual citizens, churches, local communities, and private enterprises. The idea seems compassionate - we must do for those who can’t. But how often does that become doing for those ... who won’t? But what about those who can’t? Don’t we have to have programs & bureaus to create social safety nets for them? The problem with safety nets is they can become restrictive for even those who don’t need them. You have to practice self-government in a world that offers to do everything for you. So on Independence Day, I have two radical invitations for you: Read the Declaration of Independence today - and every Independence Day - REMEMBER - why it was written. If you CAN do it - DO IT. If you SHOULD DO IT. Channel your inner toddler and remember - you were created to govern yourself - and help those around you to do the same - without the force of law - but with the force of the second great commandment. And... Pick up your trash on your way home!