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Love the Lyrics - O Holy Night "...and in His name all oppression shall cease…”   Murray City had a lovely Christmas sing-along event Tuesday night, primarily to sing the beloved Christmas carols brought from England from William Robinson in the mid 20th century - beloved almost exclusively by Murray kids.   We also sang “O Holy Night” - and as we sang about Jesus being born to be our friend and slave, we sang those words above, and this one line caught in my throat and heart.   Because seriously, there is so very much oppression in this world today. Can’t you feel it?   Everywhere you look, someone wants to control someone else.  Petty, frightened, wounded humans scrabble to control other petty, frightened, wounded humans rather than get after the business of learning to control themselves.   On the world stage, tyranny threatens to oppress globally.  Petty, frightened, wounded wannabe despots sell their plans to control the world as a beautiful utopia - a world where sustainable equity has finally been achieved. All the while, they really plan to place themselves atop their well-ordered society, their fellow humans beneath them in privilege and property.   And how do they gain the control necessary to place themselves on top to oppress? By hurling their own motives in the faces of those who oppose them - as accusations of oppression!  Apparently, it’s oppression to the oppressor - to have an opinion of not wanting to be oppressed.   There’s even tyranny in individual homes, as petty, frightened, wounded individuals hold their families hostage to meet their needs, never considering the cost to free will and good will in their relationships.   In the end, isn’t that where tyranny comes from? Petty, frightened wounded humans seeking some control in a world completely beyond their control.   What every petty, frightened wounded human must learn is that there is only one cure for their human disease of control lust - Jesus Christ.  In His name - eventually - ALL oppression will cease.   Here’s what I love about Jesus - He is the complete opposite of a tyrant. There is zero desire to control.   The scriptures prophesy of the return of Jesus Christ who will some day - soon, I pray! - depose the usurper and take His place as the true King of this earth.   He will rule and reign with absolutely zero force. His power comes from His great love penetrating those petty, frightened, wounded hearts. The hearts who freely receive that love and choose Him will create the beautiful, well-ordered utopia by ruling and reigning over themselves, and allowing everyone else to do the same.   No need to force anyone.   No need for a King to force anyone.   In the name of Jesus Christ ALL oppression will cease, because those who receive His redeeming love will stop oppressing.  They will emulate the example of the Master who forces no one.   The Master who taught this lesson by loving and serving and sacrificing Himself.   Humans will have learned to control the only thing in this universe they CAN control - the thing they have actually been assigned to control.   Themselves.   When He returns, the ONE forced action of every human will be to acknowledge His sovereignty as the literal Son of God and the Savior and Redeemer of this fallen world. And Jesus won't even force that; His power and glory will be so manifest as to compel every knee to bow and every tongue to confess that He is the Christ - the Holy One of Israel, the chosen Messiah.   “If you sense that one day every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is the Lord, why not do so now? For in the coming of that collective confession, it will mean much less to kneel down when it is no longer possible to stand up!” (Neal A. Maxwell, "Why Not Now?" General Conference, October 1974)( https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1974/10/why-not-now?lang=eng )   Till He gets here - my work is clear - learn to control just me - and honor your right to control just you.   As we go in HIS name - all oppression will cease.   And only in His name. "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty." (2 Corinthians 3:17)

Come Follow Me (Ether, Part 2) Ether chapter 12 recounts another face-to-face conversation between an ordinary mortal - Moroni - and the resurrected Lord, Jesus Christ - just a few chapters and a few thousand years apart from Mahonri Moriancumr's face-to-face with Jesus. (see chapter 3) These accounts appearing so near each other in the record underscore something very important for me: ordinary people can ask for help from heaven - and get it. According to Moroni, extraordinary things happen to ordinary people because of faith: "Behold, it was the faith of Alma and Amulek that caused the prison to tumble to the earth. "Behold, it was the faith of Nephi and Lehi that wrought the change upon the Lamanites, that they were baptized with fire and with the Holy Ghost. "Behold it was the faith of Ammon and his brethren which wrought so great a miracle among the Lamanites. "Yea, and even all they who wrought miracles wrought them by faith, even those who were before Christ and also those who were after. "It was by faith that the three disciples obtained a promise that they should not taste of death; and they obtained not the promise until after their faith. "And neither at any time hath any wrought miracles until after their faith; wherefore they first believed in the Son of God. "And there were many whose faith was so exceedingly strong, even before Christ came, who could not be kept from within the veil, but truly saw with their eyes the things which they had beheld with an eye of faith , and they were glad." (Ether 12:13-19)'' So. Why doesn't help come every time? Why do people get forgotten down wells or pinned beneath buildings after earthquakes, or petition God for babies, or pain relief, or a place to live, or a life partner, and nothing happens? Why do so many beg for relief from specific temptations, only to battle those same temptations every single day the rest of their lives? The bigger question isn't: how do you develop faith to move mountains. That is for studying and practicing, for sure. But truly, the bigger question is: how do you develop faith... to not move the mountains? How do you wait in a well or under a building, and possibly die there? How do you watch others hold babies your arms ache for, and continue to hope for babies of your own? How do you live with constant pain, year after year, and practice the faith to know God hasn't forgotten you? How do you face church every week in a ward full of families as a single person, wondering if maybe the love of your life died in the Civil War or the Spanish flu epidemic? What does it look like to keep your covenants when a loathed temptation continues to plague and vex and seduce, and you feel like maybe taking the sacrament every week is an exercise in futility? This particular phrase from Moroni has forever changed me: "There were many whose faith was so exceedingly strong,... [they] truly saw with their eyes the things which they had beheld with an eye of faith , and they were glad." (Ether 12:19) Here, Moroni is speaking of the likes of Mahonri Moriancumr, one who could not be kept from within the veil because of his faith. Moroni suggests here that MM could already picture the body of Jesus Christ; otherwise, why would he ask Him to touch the stones he had moltened? That was such strong faith, Moroni uses the phrase "could not" four times in this chapter in describing Christ's response to MM's petition - basically asserting that Jesus Christ was bound to bring MM within the veil because of his faith. That sounds like a natural law to me. God, whom we imagine to have zero limitations on what He can or cannot do, is bound by eternal laws which He obeys with exactness. He never deviates from those eternal laws. He is so completely constant that the human family can rely on Him completely to behave in a certain way when certain conditions are present. Studying natural law has been the Rosetta stone which made phrases like " could not" or God would cease to be God" (Alma 42:13) make sense in a completely new context - the context of God as the perfect Executor of eternal law. God is an exalted Being whose job description includes: must adhere to the exact and unforgiving eternal laws of the universe 100% of the time in all conditions, regardless of how He is feeling at any particular moment. And God is able to do this, because He has trained His emotions completely to love without restraint as He enforces and executes these laws of the universe. Is it any wonder He begs His children to pay attention to those laws? I've quoted this before, but it describes natural law in context with God so well: "It is important to understand that obedience is not simply a requirement of a capricious God who wants us to jump hurdles for the entertainment of the royal court. It is really the pleading of a loving Father for you and me to discover, as quickly as we can, that there are key concepts and principles that will bring happiness in a planned but otherwise cold universe." (Neal A. Maxwell, A Time to Choose , p. 13-14) So, back to faith. If we exercise an eye of faith, we can see mighty things before they take place. We can visualize cancer shells shrinking before, during, and after treatment appointments. We can see legs which haven't walked for months getting stronger and walking when the physical therapist shows up. We can imagine the job we don't yet have as we submit yet another resume. We can imagine decorating a Christmas tree, surrounded by loved ones who haven't come home for Christmas in years. We can see in our mind's eye - with an eye of faith - prodigals dressed in white in the celestial room of the temple. We can see these things before they take place, thank God for the promised blessing before the promise is fulfilled, knowing full well the perfectly reliable and unchanging nature of the Promiser. And then we can wait. And I think I speak for every human when I quote Inigo Montoya and mutter: "I hate a'waitin'." Don't we all. When you're in pain, you want it to be over instantly, or maybe last week or last year. Some conditions of the Fall are superseded or intervened upon by Divine power in a miraculous manner, but many, many more are not, and require waiting. Heart-wrenching, soul-stretching, holiness-forging... waiting. Those of God's children who must wait do not have less faith; perhaps they have more. Perhaps the greatest eyes of faith are developed in the waiting. David A. Bednar suggests that it may take greater faith to not be healed. ( https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2016/08/accepting-the-lords-will-and-timing?lang=eng ) One of the best waiters I know is Nick Vujicic, who was born in 1982 with no limbs. I first became acquainted with Nick through the moving short film, Butterfly Circus , made in 2009. I was then privileged to hear him speak in Salt Lake City when I attended the World Congress of Families in 2015. In that speech, Nick made one of the most powerful statements I've ever heard which revealed the mighty eye of faith he had spent a lifetime developing. Paraphrased, he stated that he couldn't wait until the Resurrection, because he pictured that the first person he would hug with his restored arms would be Jesus Christ. That's what it looks like to have an eye of faith. Eyes of faith are riveted upon the Promiser - the Author and Finisher of our faith - the One we can trust completely to keep His promises: here, or in eternity. Faith means trusting that all things will be made right and all tears will be wiped from our eyes (Revelation 21:4). Our faith-filled, tear-filled eyes will be wiped by hands with wounds in them. An unspeakably high price was paid to make everything right. Jesus Christ has far too much invested in this human project to abandon us now. So hold on... and wait. Wait for - and with - the one who will make everything right.

Come Follow Me (Ether, Part 1) Generally speaking, I'm not a huge fan of much of the Book of Ether. It's like a flip-book version of the rest of the Book of Mormon to me - as if Moroni is saying at this point: "Okay, just in case you've missed the point of my father's abridgement for lo, these many pages, let me give you a Reader's Digest version of a much longer time period, but in a much more condensed story." And then, instead of hundreds of years over hundreds of pages, we get thousands of years over not even three dozen pages. I'm just saying, a ride warning should be issued for the book of Ether. Also, a neck brace. But then there are these two chapters... these two glorious, incredible chapters - 3 and 12 - which tell of two face-to-face encounters with Jesus Christ Himself: In chapter 3, Mahonri Moriancumr pierces the veil which protects us from the glory of God in our fallen state - and converses with Jesus millennia before His birth in Bethlehem. In chapter 12, Moroni speaks face to face with the resurrected Jesus Christ. In spite of multiple readings over my lifetime, I feel to take my shoes off as I enter these two chapters. It is sacred to encounter a conversation with a human being and God. But it's also sacred to learn the conditions which qualified these humans to enter the presence of God's glory in their fallen human state. Sacred - and instructive. In chapter 3 Mahonri Moriancumr (abbreviated as MM going forward) presents the Lord with his solution to the lighting problem in the barges which would spend nearly a year in and out of water. Is it possible he read the record of the flood? Check out Genesis 6:16 - particularly the footnote for the word "window." Was part of MM's personal study for this problem - scripture study? It's obvious MM knows his solution is outlandish. It's obvious he knows the Fall has rendered him 100% unqualified to be in the glorious presence of his God. He knows what will be required for his request to be granted. He knows what he is asking is - for the current conditions - impossible. He. Knows. But he asks anyway. "...Now behold, O Lord, and do not be angry with thy servant because of his weakness before thee; for we know that thou art holy and dwellest in the heavens, and that we are unworthy before thee; because of the fall our natures have become evil continually; ... "And I know, O Lord, that thou hast all power, and can do whatsoever thou wilt for the benefit of man; therefore touch these stones, O Lord, with thy finger, and prepare them that they may shine forth in darkness;.... "Behold O Lord, thou canst do this. We know that thou art able to show forth great power, which looks small unto the understanding of man." (Ether 3:3-5) MM [modern vernacular recap]: I know I can't be in Thy presence, and Thou cannot be in mine; but that's what I need. I need You to part the veil and touch these stones. That's all I've got. That's what I've come up with. I know I'm not worthy as I am, but that's what I need, and since You asked, and I know You can do anything which will help us... And miraculously, Jesus complies. And while I like to think that absolutely nothing surprises Jesus ever, I sense a certain element of surprise in Jesus' reaction to MM's fear, don't you? "And the Lord saw that the brother of Jared had fallen to the earth; and the Lord said unto him: Arise, why hast thou fallen?" (Ether 3:7) When Jesus realizes MM saw His finger touch the stones, He says the thing - the Beautiful Thing which He tells every person for whom He would perform a miracle when He was in the flesh. Jesus always, always, declares - "because of thy faith." And besides telling MM He's never seen such faith in one of His children, He also makes this thunderous statement explaining: "...for were it not so [the exceeding faith of MM] ye could not have seen my finger." (Ether 3:9) Which begs the question: is faith a natural law? When faith is sufficient, must God comply with mortal requests? I seriously don't know the answer to this question. And I know many, many people who righteously, diligently, faith FULL y petition the Lord, receive a "no." But reading this chapter begs the question - what does it mean when the Lord could not be kept within the veil, because of the faith of the brother of Jared? And how do you develop that kind of faith? (Hint: probably not solid answers, but more musings in Part 2...)

(From talk given in sacrament meeting March 10, 2024) God's plan for our salvation is absolutely yummy. The technical scriptural term is 'delicious.' Every great missionary in the Book of Mormon teaches it by teaching the Creation, the Fall, and the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Creation - the need for a home away from our heavenly home - to develop our preference for light and goodness. Fall - the need for a place which included opposition - creating resistance for us to push against, and creating a gap between earth and heaven which cannot be breached. Atonement - only Jesus Christ's atoning sacrifice made it possible to breach the gap between the stains of a fallen earth and our heavenly home. Jesus Christ's atonement provides restoration - a way to recover God's fallen family - "all as at first" (Hymn #2 - "The Spirit of God"), but with the invaluable learning experience of mortality. We gain access to all the blessings and promises of Jesus Christ's atoning sacrifice by entering a covenant relationship with Him and Heavenly Father. This is how we receive infinite power from Jesus Christ - the power to change . To grow. Though a covenant is often compared to an earthly contract, we don't sign documents to ratify entering a covenant relationship the way we do in human contractual relationships. Instead, we participate in ordinances. Covenants are private and personal with God - but they're made official and must be ratified by an ordinance - performed by someone authorized - the way documents are formalized by being witnessed and signed by a notary. Ordinances must be performed by one in authority . This authority comes from the Author of the covenant. He is the one who sets the terms. The word ordinance comes from the Latin word ' ordinare' - to put in order. Heavenly Father is a God of order: "Behold, mine house is a house of order, saith the Lord God, and not a house of confusion." (D&C 132:8) Participating in ordinances is a sign we are still willing to be in a covenant relationship according to the original terms of the covenant - even though we can never perform this with the same honor and fidelity which God does. Even putting the word 'willing' into the ordinance (of the sacrament) is like fine print in the contract. This is how God acknowledges He knows full well we are incapable of honoring the covenant at the same level He does. Upon entering a covenant relationship, we agree to go through the process of sanctification - God's self-improvement program designed for us to become like Him. That is His desired end result - that we become what He is - holy. A scriptural name for God the Father is 'Man of Holiness' (Moses 6:57). Like Naaman (2 Kings 5), who was instructed by Elisha to bathe in the Jordan River seven times, we need the whole process of sanctification. With our limited knowledge, and because God's program of sanctification takes a lifetime, we can be tempted to abandon the process, thinking it isn't working. What would have happened had Naaman given up after his second washing? Or third? Or fifth? How lovely that God teaches this powerful lesson of finishing the process in this story - by making Naaman's requirement be the scriptural number of completion, or perfection - seven. Elder David A. Bednar has reminded us of the teachings of David O. McKay, who taught that the purpose of the gospel is to make bad men good, and good men better. He references these two steps to Mosiah 3:19: " For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man , and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." Baptism and weekly partaking of the sacrament are the preparatory ordinances of the Aaronic priesthood. They aren't preparatory for Aaronic priesthood holders - they're preparatory for us - those going through the sanctification process. They prepare us for the covenants and higher ordinances of the Melchizedek priesthood. Baptism starts the process. The sacrament is the 'rinse & repeat' step in the process - even after higher temple covenants have been made. In his April 2007 general conference talk, "Ye Must Be Born Again," Elder David A. Bednar compares the process of a cucumber becoming a pickle to the transformation a human being goes through in the sanctification process. In describing the pickling process, he uses such symbmolic phrases as: Precise procedures Steady, sustained, and complete immersion is required for the desired change to occur Gradually alters the composition of the cucumber Sealing... in jars that have been sterilized and purified... so the finished product can be protected and preserved [For us - that sealing protects us not just from evil, but from the very glory of God! This sealing process is what enables us to abide being in the very presence of God (D&C 88:22).] None of the essential steps can be ignored or avoided The end result of the pickling process transforms an ordinary cucumber into a pickle. The end result of the sanctification process makes humans holy - as our Father and God is holy. Father's plan is to have us enter a covenant relationship and participate in this process of sanctification so we become clean again, we lose our desire for the things of this world and the flesh through practice, and we become holy as He is. The process is described in Moses 6:59-60 and 62: "...by reason of transgression cometh the fall, which fall bringeth death, and inasmuch as ye were born into the world by water, and blood, and the spirit, which I have made, and so became of dust a living soul, even so ye must be born again into the kingdom of heaven, of water, and of the Spirit, and be cleansed by blood, even the blood of mine Only Begotten; that ye might be sanctified from all sin, and enjoy the words of eternal life in this world, and eternal life in the world to come, even immortal glory; " For by the water ye keep the commandment [baptism]; by the Spirit ye are justified [receiving the Spirit through obedience is how we are justified and walk clean, even in our imperfections], and by the blood ye are sanctified [Jesus Christ's atoning blood is the act which gives power to sanctify];... " And now I say unto you THIS is the plan of salvation unto all men, through the blood of mine Only Begotten, who shall come in the meridian of time." With baptism, the water itself has no power to make us clean. With the sacrament, the bread and water have no no power to make us clean, or keep us clean. These are symbols only. The ordinances are the way we say we are taking seriously the entering into the covenant relationship. They continue to tell the Lord we are willing. Willing - again - that fine print word which shows the Lord is fully aware of our inability to meet the terms of the covenant with the perfection He has. The power comes from Jesus Christ and His sacrificial blood. This is the power which brings the remission of sins and gradually, over time, makes us holy. We bring faith and repentance to the waters of baptism and to the sacrament table for the rest of our lives. This is what enables Jesus Christ to make us clean, allows us to walk blameless as we continue to mess up, and eventually transforms us and makes us holy. The sacrament follows the pattern of the tabernacle of ancient Israel: Our meeting houses - the outer court Our chapels - our holy place - the chapel is an ordinance room deserving of our highest reverence The sacrament time of our sacrament meetings - the Holy of Holies Elder Kyle S. McKay of the Seventy spoke in our January 2016 stake conference [Murray Utah Little Cottonwood Stake]. He compared the sacrament table, covered in a white cloth, to a body laid out at a memorial service. He said even the Aaronic priesthood bearers - bearers of the tokens of His sacrifice - are symbolic of pall bearers - taking the Lord's remains to their final resting place - our hearts. How do we know if the process is working - if God is accepting our end of the covenant? What does He promise us? To have His Spirit to be with us. Paul teaches in Ephesians 1:13-14: "In whom ye also trusted [Christ], after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that Holy Spirit of promise, "Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory." We are the purchased possession - purchased with the blood of the perfect Lamb. Feeling the Holy Ghost, even once in a while on the way to constant companionship, is the Lord's way of giving 'earnest money' on our inheritance. This is how He promises us: He means to follow through with the entire transaction - the entire process of sanctification until we regain His presence. This is the gospel of Jesus Christ - the good news and good word. It is delicious. Alma ends his powerful sermon on this word - which must be planted by faith - with this promise: "And now, my beloved brethren [and sisters], I desire that ye shall plant this word in your hearts, and as it beginneth to swell even so nourish it by your faith. And behold, it will become a tree, springing up in you unto everlasting life. And then may God grant unto you that your burdens may be light, through the joy of His Son. And even all this can ye do if ye will. Amen." (Alma 33:23)

(edited from Facebook post November 3, 2022) A season of lengthy recovery [fall 2022] has given me the luxury of more quiet time to cross stitch and piece quilt, thus supporting my shameless movie watching habit. Or perhaps it's the other way around; I cannot pick.   Last night, as I pieced millions of 4 1/2" 9-patch squares (actually 112), I watched the original Pollyanna starring Hayley Mills, one of the sweetest nostalgic places of my childhood.   I watched this guileless little girl move from situation to situation, simply being good, and in so being, changing the world. Okay - not THE world - but the world around her - the hearts of the people around her. Simply by being good to others.   I always cry when I watch Pollyanna, because that's how I roll. But last night, as I watched this sweet story of a good little girl, I cried for a different reason: our culture is destroying this important part of children's education.   I've been blessed with instant grandmahood-dom; in March my dear son married an amazing single mom, and suddenly, her sweet little boys are mine.   One of the things I most dearly wish for them is to encounter such children as Pollyanna, Little Lord Fauntleroy, Mary Lennox, Meg & Charles Wallace Murry. So, imagine - I am the grandma who gives them books.   It's so very important to expose children to literature filled with other little children who make good choices, who are kind to others, who are courageous even within a childhood sphere. The best children's literature introduces such children to real children, and sparks an important question in their minds: what if I can be that kind of kid? If encountered through childhood, the influence of this kind of literature helps children enter adulthood determined to be that kind of kid for the rest of their lives.   To leave such literature out of education hasn't been simply neglect or an oversight. It's been a deliberate strategy to create a pernicious vacuum, devoid of reality or truth. It's in such a vacuum where things that aren't real or true can be more readily accepted. I mourn what has happened to the field I studied - English education - though even when I prepared for a career in it, the vacuum creation was already well under way.   One of the most crucial things parents can do for their children is to expose them to great literature - "old-fashioned" literature. The most timeless stories portray ordinary children behaving in extraordinary ways - with ordinary virtues like kindness and loyalty - and with extraordinary virtues like courage and sacrifice. Among my favorites: Pollyanna - Eleanor H. Porter Little Lord Fauntleroy, Frances Hodgson Burnett A Little Princess, Frances Hodgson Burnett The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett Freckles, Gene Stratton-Porter Girl of the Limberlost, Gene Stratton-Porter Little Britches, Ralph Moody Heidi, Johanna Spyri A Wrinkle in Time , Madeleine L'Engle Number the Stars , Lois Lowry The Mysterious Benedict Society, Trenton Lee Stewart Those who know me well know I can play this game all day. And for the record - the Disney version of Wrinkle in Time could not be wronger. Just... NO. Stories matter. Goods stories matter the most. And good stories well told... are magic.   And better than giving these books to your kids? Read them together. This will set the stage for some of the sweetest and most important conversations you'll ever have with your children. The memories that tug on my heart the very most - like Emily in Our Town [Thornton Wilder] - are the tender memories of reading stories that matter to my children, and seeing an old story through their fresh, young eyes.   I didn't waste a single moment reading to my children - even when they were older. Maybe especially when they were older. I was investing in the forging of their characters, and the promised dividends are truly priceless, seen in perpetuity through the rest of their lives. Madeleine L'Engle wrote: “We can surely no longer pretend that our children are growing up into a peaceful, secure, and civilized world. We've come to the point where it's irresponsible to try to protect them from the irrational world they will have to live in when they grow up. The children themselves haven't yet isolated themselves by selfishness and indifference; they do not fall easily into the error of despair; they are considerably braver than most grownups. Our responsibility to them is not to pretend that if we don't look, evil will go away, but to give them weapons against it.” (Madeleine L'Engle, Circle of Quiet) Great books full of great stories - with simply good children in them - is such a weapon. Reading them aloud further strengthens and forges the greatest weapon - virtue. Great literature will help create more people in the world who know the importance of being good - for goodness' sake.

[Originally published August 25, 2015] Five years ago, on an August afternoon, I saw a quilt like this hanging in one of my favorite quilt shops. Pine Needles was doing a "block of the month" class, and each of these adorable paper doll dresses was one of the monthly blocks - along with the two paper doll blocks, which reminded me of the Betsy McCall paper dolls that used to appear monthly in McCall's magazines. But, oh, the clothes...my response to seeing this quilt that day in the store was visceral - I WANTED IT. (please imagine a bigger font) Everything about it - the fact that it was paper dolls in the first place, the fabric choices - even the tiny "tabs" of white grosgrain ribbon on the shoulders of the dresses - all of it hearkened back to endless happy hours from my childhood playing with real paper dolls. Before I knew it, I had pled with my mother to consider giving me my November birthday gift (money) and Christmas gift (money) - NOW, so I could purchase the kits that were available, finish out the year, and purchase the remaining kits so I could make this enchanting homage to one of my most cherished childhood memories. She agreed, happy birthday / Merry Christmas to me, the kits were in my home, I was ready to make it up! Or... not. Problem: I had taken one hand applique class, sort of learned how to hand applique, and in typical ADD fashion, the sample / practice block from the class was in... which drawer? I did not have the skill set to make this quilt. Please absorb that again: I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE THIS QUILT. But... I WANTED it. I. WANTED. IT. And thus began a kinetic experience that God used to teach me one of the most important lessons of my life. Again. First, I dug out the practice applique from that one class I took a few whenevers ago... If you look very carefully at this sweet little pillow, you will see that many of those apples have strange little non-applish lumps and bumps. The stems and leaves weren't too bad, but those apples...! I worked on it for months to teach myself the technique of needle turn applique. Confession: to this day, I can't really "needle" turn as much as "finger" turn, with the help of my needle. Let's just say, thank heavens it's not being graded by Mrs. Linford, my 8th grade home ec teacher. The lumps and bumps don't really spoil the overall effect, don't you agree? Then, as each apple got smoother and smoother, and I actually finished the pillow and decided I was ready to tackle the quilt. A few months later, I decided I was really ready to tackle the quilt. And a few months after THAT, I was really, truly - I MEAN IT THIS TIME - ready to TACKLE THE QUILT. I decided I couldn't mess up a dress with mostly straight lines, so I started with this one. Emboldened by the success, I picked the next not-too-many-weird-little-curves looking dress.. And so continued on until one day, my denial could no longer deny that I had to make those dang dolls, and make gathered or pleated skirts, or tiny little balls - or tinier still little dolls! Again, I say, Mrs. Linford would not be impressed with some of the finer points of my workmanship. But I wasn't making this for Mrs. Linford, now was I? After the quilt came back from the quilter's - thank you, Cindy Leon, for your love, care, and brilliance on behalf of my heirloom! - I still had to learn one more untried skill - scalloping the edges and binding around those curves! And thank you to my long-time quilting buddy sister-friend, Connie Bell, for holding my hand yet again, and being a kinder, gentler home ec teacher, with the affectionate alias of Mrs. Pixton. Finally, this weekend - almost exactly five years after I first saw this quilt in Pine Needles, I hung my own version of it in my sewing room. Please believe me when I tell you this: I can't believe I made it. I can't believe I made this. When I first saw it, all I knew was that I wanted it...with only a hint of a clue of what was required to make it. I look at it now, and think of two powerful statements that teach the same lesson: "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." - Philippians 4:13 ALL things? Make a quilt? Seriously?!? Yup. Every single thing we do to grow makes us more like the only perfectly obedient Son, so He helps us. And why would Jesus Christ, with all the chaos and suffering in this world, help li'l ol' me, in my currently sheltered corner of the world, make a quilt? 1. It taught me patience. FOUR YEARS? The pre-quilting me could not have conceived of sticking to this project and actually finishing it. Those four years? They would have passed anyway...and now I have a quilt! 2. It taught me perseverance. Almost the same as #1, but if you squint you'll see a finer point: with my highly distractable brain, steadily working on something, off and on, over four years, has given me a kinetic experience akin to perfecting my life. I have actually experienced, with my muscles, the process of sticking with something, over time, and changing because of it. I've experienced putting it down for long periods during those four years, and picking it up again, just as committed to finishing it as I ever was. 3. It taught me that if I really want something completely out of reach, there is actually something inside me that doesn't shut down and dismiss it as impossible. That is never a bad thing to learn, especially because... 4. It taught me that I can, in very deed, become like Jesus Christ eventually. I can practice being like him every day, making lumpy bumpy apples and doing it quite badly. But because of His grace - both in allowing me the experience of practicing and having His Atonement clean up the messes I inevitably make along the way - I can keep at it, and over time, that grace will make me...enough. 5. It taught me that God wants me to be happy. I mean seriously, it's only a quilt, right? But it makes me happy. And God - my Father - my Creator who takes joy in creating and calls His creations good - loves that I find joy when I copy Him in creating beauty. It's a chatty little quilt, isn't it? If you know me very well, this shouldn't surprise you. :)

[Originally published June 8, 2020] I spent much of Sunday afternoon weeping. I’d come downstairs from studying and intermittent dozing to find Dale watching the 25th anniversary of Les Mis on a PBS beg-a-thon, with Alfie Boe. I have loved Les Mis since I first read the Cosette and Marius love story in 9th grade French, which compelled me to plow through the unabridged edition the next summer. The musical just added to my love of this story. Particularly, Dale has sung “Bring Him Home” and brought me to tears, at the piano, as his accompanist. But Alfie Boe’s rendition completely undoes me. THAT’S the way God gave this perfect piece of music to the inspired composer. Parenthetically: in an interview after Boe was a guest of the Tabernacle Choir, he called the piece a “diamond in his pocket.” Indeed. If I close my eyes, it’s 2012, and I’m in the Conference Center again, hearing Boe perform this priceless piece of art, which only exists in time. The only year of Dale’s 16-year tenure in the choir when I selfishly kept tickets for all 4 performances of the annual Christmas concert for myself. What can I say? I like diamonds. I’ve finally been able to embrace this embarrassing fact: I cry at beautiful things. I’m not embarrassed that I love beauty, but rather, that my tear ducts just can’t stay out of it anymore. Tears streamed down my face as I made dinner during the beg-a-thon break, as I considered the timeless and timely themes of this magnificent novel, and the beautiful adaptation as an opera. And Jared and Denise Carman - I continue to mourn not teaching this novel to your students this spring. Les Miserables is the kind of novel that makes me say there is no such thing as fiction. Good fiction, well-written - a story, well-told - is simply a fresh new way of telling the truth about the human condition and eternal principles. Sunday afternoon, the timeless and timely themes caught in my throat, and flowed down my face. But because of current events, they won’t leave me. A hardened man is told for so long that he’s irredeemable, that he believes it - until a Christ-like man points him to THE Redeemer, and he is redeemed. From desperately stealing bread to save loved ones, to years as a hardened convict, this man manages to sink even lower with one more petty theft. Finally, at rock bottom, he finds THE Rock, realizes he owes a debt for his redemption, and begins to build a worthwhile life again - one of service, sacrifice, and love. Meanwhile, a young girl callowly gives her innocence to the man she thinks she’ll spend her life with, only to discover she’s been toyed with for sport. She’s left an unwed mother, and eventually sells herself to provide for a child who is neglected and abused by the lowest of humanity. The fruit of repentance from the hardened criminal is real and poignant, as he gives his life to becoming a father to the broken women’s little girl. Years later, he saves the life of the man she loves. This is the man he prays over, begging God, “ If I die, let me die... let him live.” This prayer - the original name of “Bring Him Home” was “The Prayer” - signifies the beautiful fruit of repentance - of conversion - in spite of the miseries of the man’s life. But apparently, I’m not finished weeping. Angry young men prepare to die to have their voices heard, the injustices of life filling the cup of their indignation to overflowing - with violence. They’re almost innocently surprised that any of their militant number would actually lose their lives in their uprising, and tenderly consider each fallen man as a martyr to a holy cause. Am I watching the news? Or an artistic performance? And finally, the penitent man, who has born sorrows his entire life, is finished. The young woman whose child he raised returns from death, to take him in death. And these are the words that I will never stop weeping over, truth and beauty combined in this one nearly perfect lyrical, musical passage: “ To love another person is to see the face of God.” As the show concludes, the same stirring music from the end of the first half is reprised. In the first half, the lyrics speak of angry men changing the world by demanding blood for injustice. Now, the lyrics set to the same music speak of “climbing to the light,” and promise that “even the darkest nights will end and the sun will rise.” There is allusion to this beautiful Millennial verse in Isaiah 2:4: “And he [Jesus Christ] will judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people: and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruninghooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.” The message is unmistakable. The first half of the story seems to imply that only fighting the injustice that IS mortality is the only power which will change the world and create a utopia. The beautiful conclusion corrects - brilliantly, artistically, with the same stirring melody, and this message: the only power that will change this world is the pure love of Jesus Christ. Whittaker Chambers wrote an incredible autobiography, “Witness,” recounting his life as a Soviet communist spy in the U.S. State Department during the 1920’s and 1930’s. He read and reread “Les Miserables” as a child - as young as 8 or 10! - and his exquisite writing is a brilliant illustration of his repeated exposure to such high literature. In his book, Chambers bears witness of his journey from the darkness of communism into the light of faith. He asserts that “Les Miserables” was the book that convinced him communism was the only way to change the world: an ideology of division, force, and the promised lie of a utopia that could never be achieved, because it can’t bear to acknowledge the only perfect Bearer of Peace the world has ever had. Then, incredibly, Chambers also writes that “Les Miserables” was also the book that convinced him communism was not just wrong, but evil - and that only in a world with freedom and free will, could humanity ever CHOOSE to love their neighbors as themselves. Considering this beautiful story of humanity, on Sunday afternoon, I tearfully concluded that Victor Hugo agrees with Whittaker Chambers. For the record - so do I.

Dear Emily, We've never met, but somehow I think of us as old friends, since I'm pretty sure we stood in a lot of the same lines in heaven together. The line of random delight. The line of delight in the absurd. The line of delight in humanity. The line of delight in all things Jesus. I discovered your Inklings Institute on Instagram a little late, but I've been a huge fan since 2019 when we studied the covenant promises of Israel at the invitation of President Nelson. Sister Eva Timothy's beautiful artwork of the promises graces my study corner. I love having a visual reminder that God is always with me. I particularly love the notion of sprinkles - not just because it evokes cupcakes - a serious treat. If you were looking for a poster child for the girl most likely to need this approach, it might be me. In that spirit, I have sprinkled in and sprinkled out for the past 5 years, and loved every minute of what I got, blissfully aware that it was enough with the press of life. In my current fiery furnace, I received an intriguing invitation from Heavenly Father in prayer one night about 5 weeks ago: "Why don't you go back and take this whole semester over again before general conference?" It seemed to me the opposite of the sprinkle approach - anti-sprinkles, if you will - and I must confess: I did balk. But I've learned that Father's most intriguing invitations often yield the most incredible results. So I took a crash course - a blizzard of sprinkles - like I was studying for the LSAT. The results were SO MUCH BETTER than getting into law school. It prepared me for last weekend in a higher and holier way than I ever remember preparing for general conference. The most tender part was how such a concentrated effort enabled the Holy Ghost to fashion a private tutoring course just for me. As my Creator, Heavenly Father is completely aware of my gifts and talents, along with the emotional scars or unhealed wounds that still influence how I'm weeding my mortal garden. Knowing the whole package, He took me on a customized journey of revelatory insights to shape the next six months of my study in ways that wouldn't have been possible without accepting His challenge. So I just had to write to thank you, O friend-that-I-have-yet-to-meet, for putting such love for the restored gospel and doctrine of Jesus Christ into the world. The last five weeks of my life has probably been more like you eating your entire dozen gluten-free, dairy-free cupcakes in one sitting, but without that horrible "What did I just do?" feeling at the end. I feasted on the words of Christ, and I was better prepared to feel the JOY of the messages of general conference last weekend, including yours. I'm better prepared to study in a higher and holier way going forward. I'm better prepared to listen as the Holy Ghost will teach me "all things what [I] should do (2 Nephi 32:3), because I responded to the divine invitation to climb this past 5 weeks, in a season where climbing sounded all too daunting. Thanks again. So many prayers for your stewardships. And particular prayers for Greg. <3 Love, Laureen

Come Follow Me (3 Nephi 11-17) You learn a lot about someone by watching them. Listening to what they say is instructive, but what they do helps you the most - to know what matters most to them. For instance, take Jesus. You learn a lot about Jesus from the Old Testament watching His interactions with the children of Israel as they stumble through more than one wilderness over the millennia. There's one overarching message to His covenant family - and thanks to the law of adoption, the whole human family: come home. "For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still." (Isaiah 9:21) You learn more still from the New Testament as He assumes His undercover role as a mortal and walks with His brothers and sisters - hopefully, to Him, to become His daughters and sons. His days are filled with interruptions and ministering to people who never even showed up on His 'To Do' list until they showed up right in His path. The way Jesus navigated the day-to-day of mortal living, you have to suspect perhaps He didn't even have a 'To Do' list. Oh wait. Except one overarching thing He repeated often: I'm here to show you what it looks like to put Father's will first. "For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me." (John 6:38) Add that to the parables and the miracles and it would seem the Father gave Jesus one job: bring the children home. Lost sheep. Lost coins. Lost kids. Find what was lost, heal and restore them, and bring them home. Now. Take the myriad millennia of messages from these historical records and condense them into the few short days Jesus spent with the family of Lehi in the Book of Mormon. There you'll have a dense, compact collection of what matters most to Jesus Christ, whose one job was to make possible the rescue and restoration of God's family. You can see what matters to Jesus by what He does, how He does it, the priority He places upon it by putting it first, or by the repetition of certain actions or principles. Jesus wanted every single survivor to have a personal experience with Him - touch His wounds. If this record is to be a witness of His divinity, He was going to have legitimate witnesses . Just like every single human gets his or her own personal witness of the reality and divinity of the Savior through the Holy Ghost - personally and individually - each and every one of those people came forward one by one to see for himself. Given the number of people mentioned in the record, this had to have taken all day (3 Nephi 11:14-16). Jesus also called individuals forward to be healed one by one (3 Nephi 11:14-16) . He also called the children forward one by one to bless them (3 Nephi 17:21). Apparently, individuals matter to Jesus - a lot. It mattered enough to take the time, while thousands waited their turn, for every single individual to have the same opportunity at the experience of witnessing eternal scars or being healed or blessed individually by Him. Jesus ministers to everyone who will have Him as if that individual is the one and only lost child who needs finding and bringing home. He's here for all of us - but he came for you. Even if you were the only one that needed finding and saving. The fact that the bulk of the Sermon on the Mount from Matthew also appears in 3 Nephi teaches me that these are principles which matter to Jesus. The state of our hearts as we come to Him to repent and try to do better. Treating each other how we need to be treated. Giving atypical responses to soften hearts - second miles and second cheeks. Growing pure motives that don't involve anybody knowing the good you're up to. Learning you shouldn't criticize how someone is weeding his garden because you don't know the first thing that's growing there. But even before the repetition of this important sermon, Jesus revealed two very important priorities to Him in His kingdom: you have to be baptized by someone in authority to do it. The very first thing He did after everyone had witnessed His wounds was instruct and give authority to baptize. The very next thing Jesus did was teach that contention is not a part of His program. "...he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. "Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away." (3 Nephi 11:29-30) It matters to Jesus that you know He wants you with Him, because Father wants you with Him. It matters to Jesus that you know that about every other human being so you treat them nice. It matters to Jesus that you know there is order in His kingdom, so you need to come in the way He came in - by being baptized with authority (see 2 Nephi 31). Fun not-so-parenthetical fact: the word ordinance comes from the Latin: to put in order. It matters to Jesus that you don't identify with the stirrer uppers. Once you're in the kingdom there's simply no time or room for that. Contention is counter to the mission; there are sheep to find and love and heal. All of this is to say... You matter to Jesus. He will eternally bear His scars as proof of that. He drank the bitter cup for you because He craves you the way any Parent craves the beautiful creation of His child. You. Matter. To Jesus.

Come Follow Me (3 Nephi 20-26) I had one of those rare days this week when the 3D picture came into view, and I more fully understood what Isaiah was saying. Jesus was quoting Isaiah 54 to Lehi's family in 3 Nephi 22. Sometimes when you squint, you get a hint of what he's saying, but twice this week, reading that short chapter, I wept cathartically at what the Holy Ghost gave me in those verses. "And then shall that which is written come to pass: Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child..." (3 Nephi 22:1) Maybe it was because I wanted many more children than came to our house, that there was a miscarriage in the mix. Maybe it's because I'm still mourning the loss of two babies just this past year, born too soon to a beloved family member. Maybe it's because I've mourned for and with infertile friends. Maybe it's because my own arms are empty right now because of faraway grown-up children. All I know is that as I read that first verse, I heard God comforting women who ache to hold a child and for whatever reason, their arms remain empty. Except then, I saw the woman Christ was describing as a symbol for His covenant family, Israel. Because of millennia of disobedience and scattering, the patriarch of that family is portrayed as the empty-armed mother, wondering how he could have better taught eternal promises to his family to make them understand to better stay faithful. The ache of emptiness at no fruit for all the effort of planting is felt by the father as much as the mother in this metaphor. Even as Isaiah paints word images of barren women mourning the emptiness of their arms, the desolate lack of fruit for their planting, the voice of Jesus Christ encourages them to sing and rejoice, because these are the women who bear the most children! As the wiping of tears began in the story (Revelation 21:4), mine began as I read: "Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thy habitations; spare not, lengthen thy cords and strengthen thy stakes; " For thou shalt break forth on the right hand and on the left, and thy seed shall inherit the Gentiles and make the desolate cities to be inhabited." (3 Nephi 2-3) How can this be? How can my empty arms be so filled that I must spare no effort to make room for more than I can count - enough to fill cities? " ...for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the Lord." (3 Nephi 22:1) The Father of the entire race has called one family to serve all the others, and knowing the fickle folly of the race, has made provisions for their folly. Even the folly of the servant family. A Savior to rescue, redeem, reclaim, and restore. A gathering - ironically - which will start with the children of the woman not under covenant! The fickle family will leave a record for their Gentile brothers and sisters, and thanks to the beautiful doctrine of adoption, these children will also make covenants, and call their wandering covenant brothers and sisters home. Which is more tender and intimate - the covenant between a parent and child, or that between a husband and wife? One of the loveliest images used to describe our relationship with our God is that of Bridegroom - one who keeps covenant in spite of the unfruitful or unfaithful wife. "For thy maker, thy husband , the Lord of Hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel - the God of the whole earth shall be called. For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God." (3 Nephi 22:5-6) When we read of generations of covenant Israel being unfruitful in their disobedience, wandering from their covenants, it can be easy to focus on the barrenness - the lack of fruit - the broken covenant. That's us; that's the side of the covenant we can relate to. It's easy to forget the One on the other side of the covenant who set the terms - the One whose very character and nature forbid Him to abandon us. Our God doesn't keep covenants the way we do, and praise Him forever because of it: "For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee. "In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment , but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord they Redeemer. "...for as I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth, so have I sworn that I would not be wrath with thee . "For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed , saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee." (3 Nephi 22:7-10) In the October 2022 Liahona, President Nelson wrote: "Once we make a covenant with God, we leave neutral ground forever. God will not abandon His relationship with those who have forged such a bond with Him." (Russell M. Nelson, "The Everlasting Covenant," Liahona, October 2022) ( https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2022/10/04-the-everlasting-covenant?lang=eng ) Everlasting kindness is only part of what God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ bring to covenant making. Their eternal mercy and kindness will allow a nearly infinite number of second chances. This is their nature, even in generations of barren unfruitfulness: " For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still." (Isaiah 9:21) "For all this..." - for all the disobedience - the wandering - the years of empty arms - and no fruit in spite of the planting. They're also talking about their empty arms - without us! For all the millennia of separation and broken covenants, His anger is not turned away because it must not be turned away - eternal natural and divine law forbid it. Consequences must be meted according to our choices. But... His hand will be stretched out still. The Savior's mercy will be offered as long as is eternally possible. The invitation to come home will never be rescinded until that final harvest when all accounts must be settled. Everlasting kindness looks like that. "God's intent is to bring you home." ( https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2024/04/45kearon?lang=eng ) https://youtu.be/UaeImqkrf9Q?si=qfiQzDWqXOtwmoVL

(Come Follow Me, 3 Nephi 12-16) Jesus loves to talk about His Father. In the New Testament and in 3 Nephi in the Book of Mormon, it's clear Jesus wants people to know who His Father is. He wants people to know of His boundless goodness, and feel completely unafraid to come to Him with our needs - even our fondest desires. Approaching the throne of God is so much more safe than many imagine, and Jesus wants the human race to know it. Much of 3 Nephi mirrors scripture in the New Testament - like here, where Jesus explains how His Father God answers prayers: "For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened. "Or what man is there of you, who if his son asked bread , will give him a stone? "Or if he ask a fish , will he give him a serpent? "If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?" (3 Nephi 14:8-11) If an earthly father knows to not give a stone for bread when his child is hungry, then certainly a Heavenly Father will give that earthly need - and how much more? "...remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ , the Son of God , that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall." (Helaman 5:12) If an earthly father knows to not give that hungry child a serpent instead of a fish, then certainly a Heavenly Father will provide for that temporal - temporary need - and how much more? "...as the Lord God liveth that brought Israel up out of the land of Egypt, and gave unto Moses power that he should heal the nations after they had been bitten by the poisonous serpents, if they would cast their eyes unto the serpent which he did raise up before them,... there is none other name given under heaven save it be this Jesus Christ, of which I have spoken, whereby man can be saved." (2 Nephi 25:20) Jesus subtly teaches this powerful truth: God has asked us to pray for our temporal needs, but He is far more concerned about our eternal spiritual needs. And because He is our Father and loves us, He will generously give us both. I can look back on so many times when I've prayed for something transient and gotten so much more than I asked for. God's abundance has taught me to be instantly suspicious of anyone preaching scarcity. Scarcity breeds fear, coveting, greed, and pettiness. Abundance breeds faith, generosity, and benevolence. That's who our God is. That's who He wants us to be. How often will He give us more than we asked for, in order to teach us this? I can also look back on many more times when I've prayed for something terribly important, and in the transient moment, received an answer of no. As time passes, I've learned that Father's noes look like this - either: A permanent no is because I've asked for something not in accordance with His will, or The temporary no is really an answer of "not now" or "not yet" - or The no could actually include this statement: "I have something better for you." The Bible Dictionary teaches this powerful truth about asking amiss: "Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them." (Bible Dictionary, p. 752-753) I've learned that the condition of asking is more about honoring my agency than anything else. I've learned that as much as our Father God wants to be actively involved in my life, He's terribly polite, and will not intrude when not invited. What a Gentleman. If I pray like I'm putting coins in a vending machine, the outcome is rarely the Milky Way I thought I was after. But as I learn to pray to seek the will of God, and to train my unruly human heart to want that will more than my own, I start to see that my Father God will give me bread - for now - and an immovable stone of faith to build my life on. He will give me the fish I need to fill my belly today - and access to His Only Begotten Son. "...And as he lifted up the brazen serpent in the wilderness, even so shall he be lifted up who should come. "And as many as should look upon that serpent should live, even so as many as should look upon the Son of God with faith, having a contrite spirit, might live, even unto that life which is eternal." (Helaman 8:14-15) How much more does our God want to give us, if we learn to want it, and ask? He wants to give us everything - and His Beloved, perfect Son gave His all to provide it. Bread and stone; fish and serpent. More than we can ever possibly need or want - now and eternally. That's who our God is - Our Father. Abundance. Generosity. And love beyond measure. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)

I can’t explain it; perhaps I don’t need to. General conference weekend feels like a holiday weekend. And no, it’s not because I can watch church in my jammies. Though that doesn’t hurt. I loved the feel of general conference growing up, even though I scarcely comprehended the importance of it. It permeated our tiny house, as every radio and TV were tuned to it. During seminary years, it was part of my grade to listen to at least two sessions and take notes. Having that incentive, conference began to have more meaning, and once in a while, I heard something that started the seeds of a testimony growing. In the early years of our marriage, I pined for it, as we too often missed it for family events. I always wanted to go back and read the talks after I’d heard them, but it took close to 15 years of marriage to start the habit and add it to inconsistent study time. Thanks to a stake president’s invitation, I finally read every single talk once before the next conference came around again. At the time, it felt like a huge accomplishment. Now, general conference isn’t just a bi-annual weekend to anticipate; it’s also a vital daily life preserver in a turbulent sea of everyday living. In the season when reading conference talks felt like a challenge, those two weekends every spring and fall felt like an oasis in a lone and dreary desert. General conference provided living water to drink deeply from, and to luxuriate in after the previous six months of privation. All too soon I was back in the dessert, yet at some point, I finally came to learn that I could drink from that water the entire six months. To feast on inspired words all year turned those talks into a daily vitamin - as vital to my spiritual well-being as my daily dips-turned-dives into the Book of Mormon. The last several weeks has found me exhausted from my signature cough.  To those who have heard it: no, I do not have tuberculosis or emphysema. No, I did not take up smoking at age 4.  I simply cough this not-so-dainty cough nearly every time I get a cold for what seems like FOREVER. Feeling exhausted and useless, I prayed about how I could use my time better than Netflix or an insipid game on my phone.  I received a most unusual and unexpected invitation: go back and read all the conference talks again before general conference. But wait, there’s more. The invitation included going back and listening to every single Inklings Institute class, the Instagram class offered by Sister Emily Freeman every Thursday morning, each on an individual conference talk from the previous general conference. Accepting this inspired invitation yielded remarkable results.  As I finished today I re-read these amazing words of President Russell M. Nelson: “I invite you to consider carefully the following three statements: The gathering of Israel is evidence that God loves all of His children everywhere. The gospel of Abraham is further evidence that God loves all of His children everywhere. He invites all to come unto Him - ‘black and white, bond and free, male and female; … all are alike unto God.’ The sealing power is supernal evidence of how much God loves all of His children everywhere and wants each of them to choose to return home to Him.” (Russell M. Nelson, “Rejoice in the Gift of  Priesthood Keys,” General Conference, April 2024) I was struck with “good, better, best” tone of President Nelson’s list which he cited as evidence of God’s infinite love for His children. Because of glutting myself in the oasis of living water for the last 3 or 4 weeks, every talk had somehow culminated to this beautiful list, and the Spirit gave sweet clarity to it: To be gathered - and to gather (Moses’ keys) - we are invited to the wedding. Everyone is invited. To accept the gospel of Abraham (Elias’ keys) - we are invited to come in in a higher and holier way - as the bride - under the protection of a covenant. Everyone is invited to enter the covenant. To partake of the sealing power (Elijah’s keys) - we are invited to stay - forever a part of God’s family, to “ go no more out.” (Revelation 3:12) This is why daily water is so much better than the glutting once at an oasis, living my life like a weary little spiritual camel, expecting the huge drink to last for six months.  The messages become more interconnected, more relevant to current problems, and so very much more intimate and personal. General conference talks have become a part of my personal liahona, with new writing every six months according to my faith and diligence (1 Nephi 16:29). As the world darkens and the sea I’m navigating continues to grow more turbulent, general conference twice a year definitely feels like an oasis again, but general conference every day feels more like a steady IV drip of heavenly strength and nourishment, far more vital than even a daily vitamin. I’m so grateful I accepted the invitation to immerse in the living water of general conference this last month. General conference is a lifeline that connects me to my Father, my Savior, and my study companion - the Holy Ghost. It’s my lifeline to Home.  And it’s this weekend.